O how life changes!

Before I begin, I would like to address my History of the Bible series. I will continue that in the future. But it is on hold for now. Some of this post will explain why I stopped, but you'll just have to read the post to figure that out!


I'm sure some of you have heard by now, but I'm taking a new job! I'm moving back to Oklahoma City. Here is how it all went down... On our way to San Diego for the Holiday Bowl, the guy that interviewed me for a job in the accounting department at the Love's HQ in OKC happen to be on the same plane as us. He saw me load the plane, then he saw my parents. He ask my parents what my name was then introduced himself. Then after the fight, when we arrived in Dallas, he approached me and asked if I'd be interested in interviewing with Love's. Of Course I was interested! After a phone interview and an in person interview(one that forced me to miss the 1st quarter of the Super Bowl), I was sent an offer I couldn't refuse. Love's is a great company with a big accounting department with a lot of different opportunities. I look forward to it!

I will miss the people at CCH, but I won't miss the job. Up to this point, it had been boring and unchallenging. I was scheduled to work on some harder stuff, but b/c of the cyclical nature of that business, I didn't want to spend a few months a year doing something I absolutely hated. I realized when I was leaving I had a lot more friends at CCH than I thought and it was a lot harder telling them than I ever thought it would be. A couple were really upset... b/c they lost apart of "their group" at work, and that was pretty tough. I will have good memories about the place, but I know that in the long run, that is not the job I wanted. So I guess the sooner I got out the better!

Obviously, for me, this has been a confusing time. So I will use this post to look back on the past year(which has probably been the toughest year in my life) and reflect on everything that has happened. I want to talk about how I got to where I am today and such.

I could start out this story with a number of things... me moving away, me looking at the 2 job offers I had, etc. But the story wouldn't be complete if I didn't go back a little farther. Something I haven't really talked about, something only discussed with my close friends. This is my breakup with Caitlin. After a year and a half of dating, she broke up with me on her birthday. It was nice not having to spend the birthday money(that's a joke ;)), but it was a very hard period. It really shook my world as I was very comfortable before that. 2 weeks before we broke up I had interviewed with CCH and thought it sounded like a cool job, but really didn't want to move out of OKC. But I kept a lot of stuff to myself. After me and Caitlin broke up I kinda made a decision I wanted a fresh start. I thought I could get that fresh start by moving away from OKC. Before I would have never wanted to do that(despite what I told some).

At that point I started looking at more jobs outside of OKC. It seemed all the jobs I really wanted in OKC had passed me by, so I figured I could grow as a person moving away. I came across CCH and an offer in Dallas. I felt CCH was a good opportunity and moved to Wichita. I prayed about moving away and CCH specifically, and felt really good about both.

When getting to Wichita, I spent my time playing golf and going to movies. I visited a few churches, got my hopes high, but never settled down. At work training was cool, but I think the shock of moving made me go in my shell a bit more. I didn't pursue becoming good friends with anyone and kept every relationship on a surface level. I became very good "surface friends" with many, but nothing that was deeper. For a person like me, this was very frustrating. It also seemed I had a hard time meeting anyone that was on my level. I met some cool guys that were new to the area, but they were married... the ladies I conversated(not a word, I know) with were all a little older and had kids. Basically, I found no one that would "get me" as all were in different stages of their life.

Then it came to visiting churches. I visited many only to pick apart at every flaw. It didn't help that many of the churches I liked didn't have a group my age. Finding a group of committed, mature, older college and single young adults is very tough. OSU's football games, and now basketball games, always gave me an out when getting more involved at a church as well as failing to visit more. At this point, I'd narrowed my search down to 2 or 3 churches, but that doesn't matter now. It is also really hard not having a church family to grow with. Up until mid December I was faithful in prayer and reading my Bible. But doing all this on your own is frustrating.

At that point I lost my passion. The frustration of my own failures while in Wichita has finally gotten to me. This past month or so has really worn on me. But luckily just at the right time, I got contacted by Love's. I feel like this is the right move in my life, but it leaves me looking back at these last 8 months(and the 4 before that when I made the decision to move) and decisions I've made... wondering if this really was what I was suppose to be doing. Did God have a bigger plan for me in Wichita... one which I basically failed b/c of my different personality quirks and own insecurities? Or was this suppose to be a learning experience that I was destined to fail at? I wonder if I had actually got involved and made a really close friend... a friendship I could build on, would this Love's opportunity have come up?

As a Christian we talk about how God knows what will happen before it does... and how everything is in His plan. I guess that is what I'm trying to find right now. What was his plan? To see me fail? What am I suppose to bring back from this? Was a whole 8-12 detour needed? Why not just give me this dang Love's job out of college... the job I really wanted when I started out! I guess that is enough rambling.

With all these changes I have decided to "right" some things I've screwed up this last month and a half. I believe that it is God's will to put your all into everything you do. Applying this principle, I feel changes are needed. I'd done a good job up until January, but since then I've faltered. So here is what I want to do:

• Obviously I need to start reading the Bible more... something I started doing a week back. I've started a plan to read the Bible through in a year(something I amazingly did last year, for the first time ever)... reading the Gospel's through twice. I've started a prayer journal. I don't pray enough and it is something I've always struggled with. I've also been writing down important verses and other thoughts I'm having the time. It has already helped with my prayer life!

• I need more discipline in my life. Go to bed on time, get up on time. I need to restore my work out schedule. It has faltered since January. I'm even thinking about getting a personal trainer to really push me.

• I need to put everything into my work while on the clock. I haven't done that as much, since I lost some focus, but it use to be a strength of mine... now I feel as if I've fallen into a pattern of laziness.

• I want to eat healthier. I want to cut more pop out of my life. I've already cut it out a bit, but not completely. I want to not stop at the fast food place. I want to stop myself from grabbing chips or sweets at the convenience store. When shopping, don't grab that one sweet thing I want when I walk by... only get what is planned. I don't want to be on a strict diet. But I just want to be healthy. If I put myself on a strict diet, I feel you set yourself up for failure, as you just crave those bad things. Allow yourself to break the pattern for one, maybe two meals.

• And the last thing is I want to focus more on helping others. I haven't done that enough, but it needs to become more of a focus. I need to look at more situations and think "how can I help this person" instead of "what can I do for myself" or "how can I just get home/alone".

These are my thoughts, all laid out. I'm looking forward to the move, and the changes I'm trying to make. Here is one verse... probably a sort of weird one, but this is one that really struck me in this changing period of my life:

Proverbs 1:7

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.